In related news

The Onion reports that 86% of Americans don't want to have a country anymore.

Of those who were against maintaining an American nation, 77 percent said they believe that having a country is "counter to the best interests of Americans." Twelve percent said "the time and effort citizens spend on the country could be better spent elsewhere," and 8 percent said they just didn't care.

A very clever piece (read the rest!), if a bit sorrowfully close to home . . .