What marriage can offer

In case you've missed it, there's been a big kerfluffle over the last week because a doofus at Forbes advised men not to marry career women, for their own good. A laughable piece, but one that pushes the buttons of many women who've had to defend against a similar line of palaver from their parents, as well as a constant assault of retro-mommification (uxor-ification?) of all things woman from popular culture. Forbes actually pulled the piece until they could get a rebuttal piece to post alongside it. [If your stomach is strong, you can see the pair here.]

Anyway, many of these (perpetually recurring) debates weary me too much to blog, but feminist ally Hugo Schwyzer has a good post on the difference between marrying to protect your limited field of world expertise (by finding somebody to cover the rest) and approaching marriage in such a way that you can both grow in your mastery of what life has to offer:

The goal of a marriage is not comfort, but growth. It might be more comfortable for some men to work outside the home but never do a load of laundry; some women might be more comfortable handling all the cooking but never pursuing a profession in the wider world. But when we only do what is comfortable, we atrophy. If we only lift the weights that are easy to lift, we will never build muscle. If we only run until we begin to sweat, and then stop, we will never finish a race. If we only do those tasks that our culture, parents, or peers suggest that those of our gender ought to do, we never become the complete human beings we have the chance of becoming.

Well observed and thoughtful; go read the whole thing.

(via Medley)